


Home For The Holidays

by The_Magic_Lava_Lamp



Category: The Long Walk - Richard Bachman
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Domestic Fluff, Halloween, Holidays, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-01-28 22:46:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21399871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Magic_Lava_Lamp/pseuds/The_Magic_Lava_Lamp
Summary: “Oh, don’t remind me.” Ray frowned, setting his knitting aside. His mother was due for a visit because she’d been dying to see his new apartment. And though the roommate was expected…she did not know he’d been dating his roommate since Junior Year of high school. Which was a long time to not know about something considering they were both Juniors in College these days.
Relationships: Ray Garraty/Peter McVries
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	1. Ramblin' Rose

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write for these characters for such a long time!!! Now, at last, here is the first part of some Gavries domestic fluff with a little bit of angst?? You'll see...

‘Life is a rock but the radio rolled me

At the end of my rainbow lies a golden oldie…’

The music poured in from the small radio sitting atop the side table on Garraty’s left. Lyrics were coming at him with lightening speed but the man could only focus on the pile of red yarn that was to become a scarf.

Calmly and serene, Ray leaned back so the pea green recliner would rock back and forth and glanced up to catch the afternoon light hitting through the picture window & into the living room. But it blazed across more than just a plaid family-style couch and the matching glass lamp set.

It also bled through the canvas’s Pete had laid across the hardwood to dry while he made himself a peanut butter sandwich. There were about five or six medium sized paintings bathing in the sunshine that Ray had to paused and admire.

He craned his neck towards the kitchen area behind him in their tiny apartment. “You sure you don’t want me to make you something…like a real lunch?” He rolled his lips together.

Pete leaned on the counter, getting into the intimate space of their laundry basket which they’d yet to empty since it’s last trip to the Laundromat. “Save your energy, Ray-baby.” He chuckled, biting into the bread and coming over to lean on the side of the recliner. “You got a whole dinner to whip up for good ol’ mom.”

“Oh, don’t remind me.” Ray frowned, setting his knitting aside. His mother was due for a visit because she’d been dying to see his new apartment. And though the roommate was expected…she did not know he’d been dating his roommate since Junior Year of high school. Which was a long time to not know about something considering they were both Juniors in College these days. 

“Personally, I’m excited.” Pete ruffled Ray’s hair and sat back in his spot on the hardwood and went about poking at his paintings.

Ray sighed, head falling to lean on his open palm with a dreamy look of distance. He stared at the back of McVries head for a few seconds. He squinted one eye when the sun glared back at him. “I’m tired.”

“Isn’t that somethin’?” Pete laughed. “Man has barely moved all afternoon and he’s tired.” He knew the man had just rolled his eyes because he almost always waved his hand about when he did so, it danced in the light with the floating dust particles.

Ray tilted his chin and chuckled into his hand. “Call it domestic bliss taking it’s toll.” He reached his leg out and gently kicked Pete’s back for attention which was gladly accepted with the man’s new twisted position, palm flat on the floor.

They stared at each other for a few moments before Pete turned his body comfortably and started rubbing his hands up and down Ray’s ankle. “I take good care of you, Don’t I Ray?”

Garraty leaned back into the chair and stretched his leg out further. “Oh yeah, asshole.” He gently smirked and crossed his arms over the yarn in his lap. “You sure do.”

Pete’s grin was wild yet softly earnest. It kinda made Ray’s heart flutter in his chest. He knew the man was shoving all his own nerves down to appear as if this ‘meeting-mom’ situation wasn’t bothering him.

“Mom’s gonna dig you. I bet.”

Pete nodded, waiting to smile until his head pointed the floor that time. The radio had since faded into the next song which played on & on…

‘It happens all the time

This crazy love of mine

Wrapped around my heart

Refusing to unwind

Ooh-ooh, crazy love, ah…’

“They’re gonna start with the Christmas stuff soon, huh Ray?” Pete asked as he let his hand water-fall down Ray’s leg to rub small circles with his thumbs at his ankles. His palms rested against his boyfriends wool socks and were semi-covered by the green flannel pajama pants that Ray loved so much. 

Garraty nodded slowly and let his eyes flutter shut. For it was still early enough in the day that he still felt loosely tired from their late night adventures. Soon it would be late enough to be pre-tired for the upcoming night. 

“My boy fucking loves Christmas.” Pete let go of Ray’s leg and heaved himself to stand once more while Garraty let out a small huff of a protest and winked one eye open.

“I told you that nickname sounds a little weird.” 

The sun-rays outside shifted just a touch and some of that late autumn light escaped the boys. What remained was hitting McVries’s back and framing him with a mellow orange light. It reminded Garraty of the chalk tracings police did when they found a body laying somewhere. ‘Did they still do that though?’ He wondered to himself. 

Pete smiled again, showing his teeth. “Sorry.” He swiped the pad of his thumb under his nose and smoothly tilted his head in that mysterious kinda way he used to in high school. “You thinkin’ we get the tree up and running around...?” 

“We’ll go to the farm tomorrow. Also, remind me to pick up a Christmas sweater for Stebbins, yeah?” Ray finally set aside the knitting and stood from his comfortable chair. McVries raised a brow. 

“Why are we buying our neighbor a sweater?” Though the two of them had known the guy since high school, Stebbins remained a mysterious character that never failed to surprise them. 

“Oh you know he’s coming to our family party, he’s like our dog. At least he’d look nice this year.” Ray giggled on his way over to the coffee machine on their counter. That had been a purchase he’d never dare to regret. The two of them used the it way too often and served themselves a lot of steaming cups. He heard the sweet sound of Pete’s crazed laughter pour in from behind the loud machine. “By the way, What’s the status on your family’s attendance?” 

Pete stopped giggling and reached for the mug Ray had prepared. “Well, my mother...” He paused to sip the hot cup of black coffee and felt the afternoon roll over him. “Said she’s dying to attend and that checks off my father too, he’s always with the ol’ lady. And they’ll be bringing Katrina along. She’s seven now and doesn’t take well to sitters, you know?” 

Ray grinned and leaned back against the counter. “Think she’ll take well to me?” 

“Oh, she’d better. I think you’re sticking around for the long run, Ray-baby.” Pete reached out to tap Ray’s cheek but his cheeky boyfriend slipped away and sipped his own drink which was in a long travel mug. 

“I’m going to put some real clothes on and get the last few things I need for dinner.” He set his cup down next to where Pete was dipping his finger in his own. “And you are...” Garraty let his hand gesture to his boyfriend who simply smiled. 

“Going to put on some Nat King Cole like a romantic bastard and wait up for you...?” 

Ray rolled his eyes and bumped their hips together as he shoved past McVries. 

“Dean Martin?!” Pete called after him and ignored the annoyed huff coming from the bedroom. He leaned over the kitchen island “Volare, oh oh....” He paused, not sure of the way to finish the lyrics. 

Ray came out, fresh from the green plaid and sporting an expression that told of the smile he was trying to hold back. 

“I will actually go to my doctor’s appointment this time. Promise.” Pete heaved himself off the counter and gave Ray the softest kiss on the cheek. “Now you hurry back.” He patted his back and walked Ray on up to their door. Pete glanced up to the window and took note of the dusting of snow that was just beginning to fall. As Ray shoved his arms through his coat sleeves, Pete grabbed the front and helped him pull it to a comfortable position. Making sure he was snug and warm. 

“Take my car, will ya? Your car’s lack of heat is going to have you catching your death, Ray-baby.” He sniffled, as if for emphasis and smiled. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ray tried not to worry about McVries proving himself to be an honest man this time but he couldn’t help but have a little dilemma over it...starting in the cereal aisle. 

Pete was no stranger to skipping out on doctors appointments. They made him uncomfortable and...itchy...according to him. But Ray hounded him several times to get himself a check-up. After all, it was important to know your own status. He glanced over an expiration date on a carton of milk and frowned. 

He was reaching for some pie crust when his phone started ringing. 

“-What’s my social security number?” Pete’s voice filled his ear before he could even think. Ray opened his mouth but quickly closed it when he realized he was not sure how to answer. “I’m in the waiting room-which is horribly crowded by the way, I feel like the room might pop, and I can’t fill this form out.” 

“Ummm, how many numbers is it?” Ray asked lamely and scratched the back of his ear. He was twenty years old and should know this kind of shit now but he found his mind blanking. 

“Nine...” Pete’s voice was unsure. 

Ray sighed and blew air out towards the dirty ceiling of the grocery store. “Are we idiots?”

“Probably.” Pete laughed and Ray felt a little comforted. 

“Give me a second, I’ll call you back.” Ray said a quick goodbye and dialed his weirdest option that just might work. “Hello, Stebbins?” 

Their neighbor was quite the character but Ray kinda loved having him around just as much as he got creeped out by it sometimes. “I need you to do me a favor and get the spare key for our apartment-”

“oh, no need. I have a key already.” 

Ray paused. ‘When did we give him a key...?’ “Ok well, can you go in and look through the paperwork in the left kitchen drawer. I need Pete’s Social Security number-”

“Oh, I know that already. Got a pen?” Stebbins voice was bouncy and Ray smacked his palm to his forehead. 

“How-? Stebbins, I-...never-mind. Tell me.” 

After that, there seemed to be no more hiccups in the day’s routine. Garraty loaded his groceries and drove home feeling relieved yet a little nervous for the dinner that night. But nothing he couldn’t manage. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Ray was welcomed back into the apartment by an overwhelming flood of Nat King Cole’s voice. ‘Ramblin’ Rose’. 

He set the bags down on the counter, dreading having to pack them away and gently leaned over the back of the couch to kiss Pete’s hair. “That was a quick appointment. How’d it go? Dr. Marcy say anything worth noting?” he asked, coming round to take the seat next to him. He tried to hold back his intense curiosity. 

Pete shrugged and grinned as he leaned into Ray’s traveling arm. “Nothing much. You better start on dinner, don’t want your mom waitin’ on you.” 

Ray quirked his brow and trailed his fingers up and down McVries’s arm. “What aren’t you telling me?” 

“Nothing. It’s not a big deal, Ray-”

“Is it nothing or something that’s not a big deal, Peter?” Ray narrowed his eyes and sighed when Pete wiggled out of his grip and moved towards the record player. 

Their apartment had gotten slightly darker and if Ray wanted to serve his mother something warm but not too hot, he’d better start Dinner soon. Pete had been right about that. 

“Dr. Marcy talked to me about...” He broke off and sighed, screwing around with the volume dial. “She thinks I might be...depressed. And so she prescribed me a low dose of some medication to try out. No big deal.” Pete waved his hand about but Ray was at a loss for words. 

“Depressed?” 

Pete nodded and shrugged at the same time. “She’s kinda old that Dr. Marcy though...so who really knows?” He chuckled. When that sound faded out, the boys were left with nothing more to do but stare at each other. 

“How can you be depressed-? I mean, we’re happy...How can you be sad when...-” Ray gestured around their apartment and Peter gave him that gentle, admiring look. It meant he was too busy being fond of Ray to talk. So Ray frowned. 

“I don’t think depression works like that, Ray.” He slipped the record back into it’s sleeve and shrugged like he wasn’t sure of anything he said but Ray knew that was just a front. “I don’t think it matters how great your life might be.” He tilted his head back and sighed. “I’ve been through some shit, you know. Priscilla....during our break-up.” 

Garraty nodded. He and Pete had briefly went separate ways after high school graduation when McVries decided he was going to take the year off and travel. Ray realistically figured ol’ Pete wouldn’t ever find the right time to come back for school and they’d broken up for quite some time. 

Pete had experienced a whole relationship in that time with a girl that had broken his heart and left a scar on his cheek. 

“I think I’ve been aware of some of these things that were bothering me....just not how much, y’know?” McVries shrugged. “School, changes...and all that jazz. Sometimes depression falls upon you, Ray-baby. It doesn’t have anything to do with you or...our life together. It’s just...-I don’t know. Could be nonsense.” 

Ray felt his stomach drop. “Pete, it’s not nonsense. Your doctor is a smart lady and...” He let out some air and frowned again. “I’m sorry, I just don’t know how to talk about this. I’ve never...-I never had to deal with anything like this before. I don’t get it.” He shrugged, trying to be honest. Pete only raised his brows and shrugged back. 

From a floor below, they heard another neighbor and good friend, Art Baker, start up his own record player. A muffled version of Neil Young’s ‘Sugar Mountain’ briefly filled up their space. 

Ray opened his mouth but before anymore words could come out, there was a knock at the door. They shared a look before he darted up from his seat. “Shit!” 

Pete got up from the floor and prepared himself for an early visit from Ray’s mother which he was sure that knock suggested. He sat on the back of the flannel couch and pooled his hands together in his lap. 

“Raymond! I seemed to have left the house too early but forgive me, I was a little antsy because you seemed all excited on the phone.” Her voice was soft and sweet. “Is this that roommate you’re so fond of?” 

Pete paused some of his racing nerves and general muted lowness to smirk and reach for the kind woman’s hand. Ray blushed. “Peter McVries, nice to meet you.” 

Pete honestly wasn’t sure what the plan for the evening was and it was already off to a rough start since she’d come before dinner could even be started. But, he also wasn’t sure when his boyfriend planned on explaining to his mother just how fond he was of him. 

"Nice to meet you, young man.” She smiled and gave her son a polite and apologetic bump to the arm for coming so early. 

“I haven’t even started Dinner yet, mom. Hope you don’t mind the wait.” Ray bashfully shook his head. 

“Of course not.” She shrugged and Ray gestured for her to take a seat which she gladly did. 

“I’ll get you some tea.” 

Ray took off for the kitchen area, grabbing Pete’s arm as he sped off. “This is off to a bad start, huh?” McVries chuckled and hoped he’d at least get a grin but Ray looked positively rattled. He dropped his shoulders and rubbed a hand against his forehead. “Hey, hey, hey...” He made sure Ray’s mother was turned off and gently slid his hand against Garraty’s cheek. “I know the last few minutes have been chaotic but...it’s gonna be just fine, Ray.” 

“But...this has got me all worried about you and-” He could tell his boyfriend was getting all worked up and Ray didn’t need that. He was the best man that Pete knew and he deserved to relax. 

Pete rubbed a small circle against his skin. “You don’t need to worry, Ray-baby. We take care of each other, huh? I take care of you just the same as you do for me. And maybe this is just the start of a time where-...” Pete swallowed “Where I need the ‘takin’ care of’ part.” He shrugged and let his hand slide back down Ray’s cheek to clasp his raised hands to his own.

“Now, let’s go about our day. We’re gonna chat with your ol’ mom and maybe find the right time to tell her about us. Then...” He tapped their noses together for a brief second and enjoyed the tiny sigh Ray let out in response. “We get to be alone again...in our pajamas....oh, and the radio’s gonna start on that Christmas stuff soon, huh? Maybe tonight?” Pete pressed a soft kiss to Ray’s temple, gave him a small pat on the arm and took off to deliver the tea they’d promised. 

Ray softly and slowly turned on the tips of his toes, feeling the slight slip of his socks. When his eyes found Pete who was again back-lit with golden light and stirring a steaming mug for his mother....Ray let a satisfied sigh escape his lips. With the stream of air, he sank back on his flat feet and floated over. 

“Here you are, it’s chamomile!” Pete hovered the hot drink in front of Mrs. Garraty who gladly stole it with a polite smile. “Only the best for our guest-”

“Mom, I have something I want to tell you.” Ray interrupted and took a seat on the arm of his favorite recliner where Pete had planted himself but thirty seconds ago. 

“Oh, alright. What is it?” She patted his knee and took a careful sip out of her pea green mug. 

His partner looked up at Ray with wide and questioning eyes that only spurred Ray on further and gave him a new shy smile. “Pete isn’t just my roommate-” Ray ignored the adorable way Pete was tugging on his sleeve and trying to hide his fond grin in favor of a questioning expression for Ray’s sake. “He’s my boyfriend. We’re dating.”

Ray’s mother quieted and held strongly onto the pea green mug. Ray had been her son long enough to know that her expression meant that she didn’t know what to say. “I didn’t-...well, I didn’t know that you were...-you never told me.” 

“Yeah...” Ray nodded, picking at a loose thread on his pants. “I just never....-I never found...the time...” he trailed off and met Pete’s wandering, lovely eyes. “Oh hell, Mom. Honestly, I just didn’t want to.” He turned back to her and shrugged because that was really the only answer he had to give for that. 

She widened her eyes and set the mug down on the coffee table. “How long?” 

Pete and Ray turned to each other, eyes meeting for confirmation for a few seconds. “Since the start of Junior Year-”

“Oh, that’s not so bad. You’re still just Juniors-”

“-Of high school.” Ray finished, a little ashamed. 

His mother coughed, planting her palm on her chest and trying to recollect herself. “My son has been in a relationship for that long...with a man...and never told me?” She narrowed her eyes and Ray felt a rush of nerves. She opened and closed her mouth, looking nervous herself in the presence of Pete. 

“If you want, I could just go for a quick walk while mother & son discuss some things?” Pete shrugged himself up and ran a quick hand down the front of his jeans. Ray attempted to tug his sleeve just as he’d done before but Pete seemed set to go. 

“That’d be really kind of you, Peter. Thank you.” Ray’s mother gave him a warm look that McVries felt very comforted by. He hoped his smile read the same to her. He decided it was permission enough to risk it and leaned over to kiss the top of Ray’s head, ruffling his hair once more before going for the front door. 

Ray would be fine. He squeezed his hand reassuringly before he’d slipped out of grip. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Apartment 15′s door came to a creaky close behind McVries’s back and pressed the wreath into his neck. It was refreshingly itchy and maybe a little hot from the tiny multi-colored bulbs that were littered throughout the green. 

The long tan hall of their building was decked out with a long train of red & white beads and the soft glow bouncing off the silver tinsel scattered on the carpet below him was blinding. But Pete had a friend in the blow-mold Santa that stood against Stebbins wall with a kind gleam in his crescent moon eyes. The ol’ bastard was laughing...

The tiny window just at the end was surrounded by larger bulbs and from where he was standing, through the paned glass McVries could see the end of autumn bleeding into a chilly winter. Dusty flakes of snow were falling and starting to nestle right up against the tiny window ledge. 

They hadn’t been in this apartment long & it was sorta shitty. But it was what they could afford...it was perfect. There was something so heavenly about doing the dishes after a home-made waffle breakfast disaster and your boyfriend knowing exactly where the Ibuprofen was...in your home. The one where you both lived. Knowing you would wake up with them for every special occasion. The morning of your birthday, the morning of an anniversary, The morning of the dentist appointment they rescheduled for you....just...the next morning. Every night with them, there’d be a next morning with them. 

McVries almost couldn’t take how much that made his heart swell. He couldn’t wait to check Christmas Morning off the list. He glanced back at their door and sighed. 

When a door opened just over his shoulder, Pete didn’t even have to venture a guess to know who it was. 

“You wanna sit on my balcony with me?” Stebbins leaned against his door-frame and grinned like his request was the most normal thing in the world. 

“It’s snowing, Stebbins...” Pete gestured to the window and looked back to the smiling blonde and sighed. “You know what, I’ll come in but no balcony.” He shrugged and followed him into his apartment. 

Stebbins apartment was shining. His Christmas tree was wide and strings of bubble lites straight from the 1950′s bridged every branch gap. The long, skinny tubes bubbled the rainbows of liquid and dazzled his living room. 

Nearly all of his tables were covered in miniature blow mold Santa’s and collectible Holiday figurines. McVries let a smirk slowly cover his face when he heard a small whistle and found a toy train track around the Tree skirt where the tiny-locomotive was speeding in circles. “You do this all in a day, Stebbins? I was just here like yesterday-” 

Stebbins nodded and flicked the cheek of a blushing elf figurine. “Try an hour.” He smirked, crossing his arms like this was the proud he’d ever be in his life. McVries sorta admired that about him. “Why were you kicked out? Ray sick of you?” 

Pete chuckled and made himself comfortable on the guys couch, arms behind his head as he sighed deeply. “Not yet. His mother is over...” He bit into his lip and Stebbins made an ‘O’ face. “Yeah, so he’s trying to explain how gay he’s been this whole time without her knowing about it. Thought it was best to give mother and son some alone time, you know?” 

Stebbins hummed. “Is all still well in paradise?”

“Seems so. She didn’t seem...startlingly pissed or anything, anyway. But Ray’s got himself all worked up in the last hour so he might be losing her on the ‘calm-chat’...” Pete shrugged. 

“What got him keyed up? You try to stick another fork in the toaster?” Stebbins pursed his lips. 

“That was one time and I didn’t even do it. I forgot you weren’t supposed to do that shit and my toast was stuck.” McVries huffed and rolled his eyes as he laid back on the couch. “No. I just...-my doctor told me that I might have depression and gave me some medication. You know how touchy and sensitive Ray can be. He’s just making it too big of a deal.” 

Things between them were quiet again. Stebbins leaned his chin onto his open palm and hummed once more. There was something in his tone that read interested and it gave of his eerie calm nature. “Been there.” 

Pete quirked a concerned brow and felt a weird type of understanding covering each of them like a fog. Neither of them felt eager to actually discuss the situation. “When?” 

The blonde rolled his lips together. “It got very present during that period after our graduation-” 

“That long? You didn’t tell us and you sure as hell didn’t have any family to help-” his voice was angry but he couldn’t help it. Stebbins put on a good show sometimes but he was their friend. Part of McVries didn’t think hiding that shit was ok. Just from the knowing smothering kind that lived deep in his chest that he hadn’t realized was kinda killing him, he knew Stebbins must’ve been going through some tough shit. 

Stebbins leaned back. “Didn’t want to talk about it. Plus, you were leaving and Ray was busy focusing on school preparations. Besides, I handled it myself. Got some medication...it seemed to even me out just fine.” 

“You still take it?” Pete asked in a low voice and Stebbins gave him a soft smile. 

“Not at the moment, no. I got back on the ‘happy track’” He rolled his eyes. “But it’s not the same for everyone and there’s no shame in needing medication, Pete-boy. Sometimes we can’t deal with it alone.” Stebbins patted his friends arm in a kind and gentle way before leaning back on the arm of the coffee brown couch. 

Pete thought on that for a minute or two and hoped that the conversation could die on that note for now. He’d think about it in bed later. Stebbins seemed to read that on his face as easily as ever. 

“So, you get Ray’s Christmas gift yet?”

Pete hummed. “Not his actual gift but I got him a good stack of those vintage Christmas cards from that vintage shop, you know how he likes those. Just a little bonus gift.” 

“They got the writing in them from all those years ago? Ray likes feeling connected to old people from the past or something like that.” Stebbins chuckled and bit into a chocolate covered strawberry that McVries didn’t remember him having a moment ago. 

“Of course.” Pete rolled his eyes because that was obvious. 

“What’s his big gift? If it’s a book about Urban Legends that you found in my closet...than one of us needs to switch.” Stebbins swallowed his hunk of food and McVries wondered again how they’d ever become friends with such an odd character. 

“No, you dimwit.” 

“Oh, you’re proposing than. I got it.” He nodded to himself, blonde hair flicking about. McVries choked on his own spit. 

“What-? No....no. He just told his mom about us like five minutes. Why would I be proposing?” He sputtered his words into the calm face of his friend who was still smiling like that damn Cheshire cat. “It’s too soon...”

Stebbins raised a brow and sucked on another strawberry. 

“Unless...do you think that’s what he’s expecting?” McVries was suddenly opened up to a whole new world of anxiety. 

“I can’t read minds, McVries.” Stebbins winked. 

Pete put his head in his hands and erupted into a long, frustrated sigh. The blonde ruffled Pete’s hair and went to answer the door five seconds before the knocking even started. 

“Pete here?” 

McVries looked up and met Ray’s beautiful eyes. He gave him a concerned and curious look and Ray nodded softly. ‘All’s well’ it said. 

“She wants to know the story of how we got together. I figured you’d like to tell that one with me...?” Ray giggled in that irresistible way which had McVries up and across Stebbin’s apartment in seconds flat. 

“Of course! That’s the best story, Ray-Baby!”


	2. Those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days of Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> {Chapter 2 is a flashback to how Ray & Pete got together in High School!! See how the magic first started to happen!!}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback to high school!!

~~~~{Some years before the afternoon of Mrs. Garraty’s visit}~~~~

{September}

An old blue ford pulled into the tortured looking parking lot in the early morning, with the stamina plucked straight from a small, tired dog after a hard run. A bright and painful sun-glare lingered on his mothers rear-view mirror and irritated the boy’s bleary morning eyes. He became increasingly aware of the pile of books on his lap just as it became too late. Opening the passenger side door, they toppled off their jean seat and slapped the dark pavement. Behind him, his mother gasped as any doting mother would. He elected to ignore the sound as his fingers curled around the tiny student ID card, nails scratching unpleasantly on the yellow space-line. 

GARRATY RAYMOND DAVIS

POWNAL MAINE

JUNIOR

ID NUMBER: 49801

Go Tigers!

Collecting his things, he made to turn to his mother who was sat plum-still in the drivers seat with and half-grin. He was somewhat able to deny the fact that she was weary of his growing age. All mothers were for their children. Be it because of fear of losing moments with them or because it shined light on the underlying fact that they too were growing older than they wanted to be. He expected his mother thought a little of both. Just then, he noticed the little wrinkled lines around that oh-so familiar smile. It was a little unsettling.

“I’ll walk home afterwards. So you don’t have to make the journey back out.” He said a little sarcastically. Mrs. Garraty widened the smile and handed him his forgotten schedule. That tightness returned to her expression and Garraty felt inclined to say something about it. “It’s just junior year, mom.” He shrugged. Truly, sometimes he felt as if he couldn’t get older fast enough. Time moved so slow these days that he swore he was perpetually young.

“Well I don’t like it.” She frowned, shifting the car into reverse but still remaining frozen in the lot as she gave her son the once-over.

“Mom.” He returned the frown, hoping his tone would give her the hint that it was time to go which turned out to be a success. He looked over the retreating car-roof and lightly observed the others that were littering the parking lot. His eyes fell on a boy with dark hair exiting his own car. He stood slack against the door, elbow propped atop as he took in the school. His expression was tired but what really drew Garraty in was the large white scar marking his cheek. He did not recognize him from his previous years at the school but he figured he should’ve just going off the distinct way he stood.

The man held his attention for a few moments but as high school was full of odd peers, Garraty’s eyes fell elsewhere. The chosen sight was a slightly hunched over blonde kid who was bopping his way towards the school doors with an oddly blank expression. As he was staring at the kid, he failed to comprehend just where he was heading. The kid had no problem shoving past Garraty to make that point while his expression twisted to something of amusement.

“Might wanna cover your books soon!” was the sentence Garraty thought he’d heard as he rubbed his arm and the guy passed him. He scoffed at the ambiguous and strange thing to say and was about to question his hearing when a droplet of rain splashed delicately on his skin. The rain falling above him quickly increased it’s speed and immediately began to drench him. The blonde kid got under the ledge of the school building safely and without a single drop on him.

A frustrated yet small growl passed Garraty’s lips as the guy pulled a Ziploc bag of sandwiches from his jacket pocket and really went in for a large bite. He cringed a little at the sight before shaking himself a little and making his way to the building.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The excitement didn’t stop there. Garraty managed to get through his first three classes with no lasting effects other than the growing bags under his eyes and syllabus pages he’ll never read.

However, he did encounter that blonde guy a couple more times. Each time unsettled Garraty more but he kept finding himself waiting for the next one with some kind of mixture of eagerness and disdain. He brushed it off for a few minutes as he trudged down the hall.

His favorite part of school days was the time he spent lingering at his locker. He’d discovered the idea of bringing himself a snack to stash inside his locker at the beginning of the day would feed him for at least the rest of the day. It was a minimal joy to have amidst the passing days of agonizing work and annoying people. It was a small tradition he’d carried from Freshman year and he didn’t see an end in sight.

Jan, the miracle he got to call his girlfriend, always thought it was a little odd. She’d twitch her nose in that classic way whenever he’d reach in the metal locker and snack on something. He could almost hear her thought each time she shook her head, ‘Boys’. It was the same look she got when he was bored to death on Sunday afternoons and went about strolling through the Sears in their town mall. Or maybe that look was more about boredom...considering she just trailed around with him. 

Jan had transferred to another school in their district just before their Sophomore year due to a small move. That had been an incredible bummer. He was embarrassed to say they’d acted as if it were the end of the world. Like going to a school a bit farther away would mean they’d never get so see each other again. He rolled his eyes.

They had decided to throw her a big send off party which consisted of a small summer campfire in celebration with five or six friends....well more like Jan’s friends. Garraty had never been too great at keeping friends.

He’d had his first taste of alcohol that night...which sounded lame. But it had been Jan’s first time too and that was comforting. He’d been teased relentlessly by most of the guy’s there because it was apparently a race for guys to start drinking as soon as possible. Jan got the pass because she was a girl. The complications of differences in the way men & women were treated on such trivial things, like drinking or sex, was annoying to Garraty.

Garraty reached his hand in his locker for another handful of his snack for the day, peanut M&Ms. He’d been told they were a boring candy but he actually liked them...Hell, he liked Almond Joys too and those never got a good enough reputation. It was a crime, wasn’t it? Peanut M&Ms were far too underrated and had a certain edge over the other flavors, at least he thought so-

“Hey Garraty.”

Shit! Garraty must have jumped eight feet into the air from pure shock. He banged his head on the edge of his locker and let out a few choice swears as he rubbed the sore spot.

He turned and faced what he’d expected yet feared. The blonde guy. This time he was smiling in a friendly way. “How do you know my name?” Garraty scowled, still rubbing the back of his head like a child.

“I know a lot of things you don’t, Ray.” He grinned and Garraty literally felt his fight or flight senses igniting deep in his gut. But they instantly relaxed as the boy laughed joyfully. “I’m just kidding man. I passed by that photo of the swim team from last year and you're in it with your name listed. Relax.” He reached out to pat Garraty’s shoulder, who instantly pulled back a little.

“Anyone ever tell you you’re a little creepy....?”

“You can call me Stebbins. And yes.” He shrugged, seemingly immune to the insult. “Can I have an M&M?”

Garraty rolled his eyes and was tempted to say no but he took a few in his hand and water-falled them into Stebbin’s pooled palms before really thinking twice about how much he had left. “Knock yourself out.” He lowered his voice to a bored tone. He turned back to actually start getting his books together for his next few classes but he could tell Stebbins hadn’t left by the sound of his crunching.

“You wanna go to Denny’s after school?”

What?

“What?” Garraty was probably never going to understand this guy. That is if he ever hung out with him again and he planned not to. “No, I don’t wanna go to Denny’s with you.” He almost let out a small laugh at the sheer oddity of the moment. Stebbins once again didn’t seem to be phased at all. He continued to munch on his newly acquired snack and shrugged. He felt like questioning the guy a little more but when the bell rang, he was gone before the sound even ended.

It was a little spooky. Garraty chuckled and pushed another M&M passed his lips. Yet very interesting...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a long school day, Ray was ready to split like a banana...or whatever the hell that saying was. He got to experience the luxury of missing his last period, gym class, to hang-out in the office to straighten up some things so his mind wondered who might be sharing that class with him.

Garraty had planned on paying Jan a good, long call after he got home but decided he didn’t much want to. He suspected she was staying after for some club or something anyway...but he wasn’t sure. He never was one for talking over his whole day. He thought it was sort of pointless but Jan had some appreciation for it. She was into things like that.

Girls did a number on his brain. He could never completely wrap his mind around them. His least favorite thing he’d ever tried to understand was the thing where they said one thing but meant something entirely different.

He recalled one afternoon where he and Jan were sitting around his home with a couple of her friends and she’d made a joke about his small feet. He’d simply retaliated with a joke about her big feet. Boy....had that been a mistake.

Jan had told him she was just fine which he foolishly believed. She froze him out for a solid two days before he apologized. It was confusing.

And he fell into that trap more than just often. So he was sort of glad that he wouldn’t have to work his way through her maze of conversation for a little while longer.

He strolled down the hall slowly with thoughts of peanut M&M’s dancing in his head. His locker was luckily at the tail end of the hallway, only requiring one neighbor who he had yet to meet.

Just as he was entering his combination he felt a presence behind him. He took in some air and wouldn’t you know it-?

“Who's tripping down the streets of the city

Smilin' at everybody she sees....”

Garraty heard muffled music first, he almost didn’t want to turn around. Maybe he could get away with just bolting down the hall. He might’ve actually done that too if it weren’t for the small side of him that kind of wanted to know what the guy had to say this time.

His shoes squeaked in time with the clicking of Stebbin’s mouth, a smile now large on his face. He had the funkiest, most out-dated pair of huge headphones basically pillowing his head and the music just poured out. ‘Might as well just play it out-loud.’ Garraty rolled his eyes and leaned back on the lockers.

“Is there something I can help you with?”

Stebbins expression didn’t change at all, that smile still plastered on his face. It was funny for a couple seconds before it started to feel like he was looking into his soul or some shit. Garraty’s skin crawled uncomfortably- “What?”

Stebbins finally clued him on what was going on. The asshole hadn’t heard him at all so he knocked the man’s headphones off (a little rougher than he usually was with people). “What do you want?”

The headphones slid down his sweaty neck and sat still against his skin, the music still seeping through. The sound quality was that of a walkie-talkie. Garraty had been a huge fan of those as a kid but they didn’t serve much of a purpose when you had no one to play with on the other end.

“Denny’s, remember?” He scoffed and rolled his eyes. He proceeded to shove his locker closed for him before starting off down the hall without even checking to see if Garraty would follow. It irked the man just the same as it entertained him. So he stomped over towards the blonde’s side. His body language seemingly pulled directly from an upset child. Arms crossed and angry smirk across his face. “I’m gonna get pancakes, what about you? I probably wouldn’t order the grits because they’re no good. IHop’s are better but the rest of their menu leaves a lot to be desired-”

“This is gonna work a lot better if you start talking about why you invited me instead of what you’re going to eat.” Garraty swallowed the lump in his throat and continued his steady pace to keep by the guy’s side.

Stebbins expression turned into a look of superior confusion, which was odd. He pulled at the green sleeves of his jacket and burrowed his hands inside. “I figured it was pretty obvious?” He spoke in the form of a question but there seemed to be an ulterior motive of that being a general statement that Garraty was just supposed to nod along to.

“Obviously, It’s not.” He shrugged and dodged the pointy shoulders of his classmates.

Stebbins let out an amused chuckle as the chilly air hit them both on the way passed the doors. The school year was just beginning but the air was already beginning to crisp as if Autumn wanted to drop by earlier than scheduled. Stebbins rubbed the pad of his finger under his eye and grinned. “This is a date.” 

Garraty snapped his head to his side and almost took a tumble from the huge crack in the sidewalk. “Dude, what the fuck? This is not a date.”

The happy energy within the stranger didn’t take any hit from the harsh tone. He actually seemed quite pleased.

“I’m not-...” Garraty slid his hand from the pocket of his jacket to gesture but found that due to embarrassment...he could only let it hang there. Stebbins shot one eyebrow up as if daring him to continue the path traveled by most high school dicks and that one History teacher. “I’m not gay. I have a girlfriend, man.”

Stebbins hummed and curled his fingers around the passenger side door handle of what Ray assumed was his car. “Ok, so you have a girlfriend. Sorry. We can still go to Denny’s as friends though. I don’t think they’ll mind much.” The guy laughed and didn’t seem to be embarrassed at all by his assumption and it’s subsequent rejection which kinda irked Ray.

But he still allowed the Stebbins character to hold the door open for him and drive him to a Breakfast joint in the middle of the afternoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Sherry baby (Sherry baby)

Sherry can you come out tonight...”

There was a small drop of syrup peeking from the corner of Stebbins smile as he thumped his spoon against his mug. He was absolutely blissed out which Ray found easy to believe considering the food that had just been placed in front of him was looking....for lack of better words...mouthwatering.

Ray slurped down some of his orange juice through the thin blue straw and rolled his lips together, finding them filmy and with bits of his dry skin caught up in the orange remnants. “What made you think I was gay?” Ray spit out the word like it was the biggest insult to him in the world.

Stebbins glanced up, some of his blonde strands falling in front of his eyes. If this were the sixties, the kid would not be let into Disneyland with a hair-style like that. “Ahh, well. To be perfectly honest, just took a chance.” He shrugged with a comical grin which became a smirk when he saw how unsatisfied that answer made his new friend.

“Ok fine. I saw you checking out that guy in the parking lot.” He licked his spoon clean of the...egg juice which it had been previously slimed with and Ray scowled. Part of it was the disgust.

“I wasn’t checking out any guy in the parking lot-!”

“It’s fine, Raymond. You say it’s so, I’ll take that word.” Stebbins leaned back against the bench and smiled.

Something in that expression suggested ‘Hell yeah, I’ll take it free. I just won’t buy it, that’s for sure.’ Ray frowned even deeper.

“His name’s McVries. Peter McVries.”

“Ok...” Ray rolled his eyes and shrugged because he couldn’t care less. Stebbins didn’t care a lick about that fact though and kept egging him on.

“He’s in our gym class-”

“Shit. We share that class?” Ray frowned and noticed a flash of hurt in Stebbins eyes when he rolled them that time so he bit his lip with regret.

“We do. And with McVries too-”

“I don’t give a shit, Stebbins.” Ray scowled, growing more and more heated by the minute. The blonde was starting at him with something of recognition which pissed him off further. His eyes bore down on Garraty yet somehow remained pleasant and gentle. They thirsted for something from him and Ray thought if he focused hard enough that he might hear a suckling sound. ‘Brain juice’ Ray thought with a morbid little chuckle. ‘Slurp it down with a straw buddy but don’t even think about sending it back if the pink chunks are too large’

One brow quirked up and started wrinkling Stebbins forehead.

‘Don’t chew, swallow them hole, huh?’ Ray paused. The voice that had bounced that in his brain did not sound like his own rather.... 

“You gonna finish that meat, Ray?” Stebbins tilted his chin towards the side-order plate of bacon. Garraty surprised himself by gagging at the sight of food which by all means, was just the same as it had always been. But something about it now...might as well have been a pile of sewer muck. ‘Slurp it down Ray! Loosen the ol’ throat and suck it down.’ That voice maybe sounded like his own.

Garraty shoved the plate to Stebbins, intending to knock it off the table and maybe into a sweaty pile on the lap of his purple pants but it was nowhere close enough to the edge. His companion only followed the dishware with his eyes flushed in amusement. “Fuck off.” Ray started to shove his way out of the booth chair but Stebbins managed to looked surprised enough that Ray realized he may be overreacting.

“What, are you a vegetarian?” He chuckled and took a large bite of one piece.

Ray pathetically shook his head ‘no’ and sat back to take a long swig of his coffee. The bacon was no longer dressed in gross costume but all Ray’s appetite fled his body quicker than it had during that week long food poisoning incident in the 6th grade.

Bot something bothered him whenever the waitress-Sheila-would pass them up and find he’d eaten next to nothing off his plate. Ray felt it was important that she like him so no-he didn’t eat any meat. He just stuck the the grits which tasted no better than licking the pavement outside but Shelia seemed satisfied. How polite of Ray. He might even please her some more by puking it up all over her shoes. ‘How big were her feet?’, he wondered.

“We got off one the wrong foot, Ray-”

‘How big were Stebbins?’ Garraty shuffled in his seat and restrained himself from looking just under the table.

“I’d say so.” Ray mumbled.

“So let’s hit the brakes on this, huh?” Stebbins smiled and the corners of his lips picked up kinda like a smirk. “You go on and leave. I’ll pay for the meal and see ya in school tomorrow.” He mock-saluted and Ray hesitated for a few seconds.

“Shouldn’t I...?” Ray reached into his wallet but Stebbins rolled his eyes.

“I asked. I was irritating. It’s only fair.” He laughed in a tone so odd and weirdly-charming.

Ray mock-saluted back and got outta there as fast as his feet would take him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jan played that Eddie Rabbitt 45′ over and over at nausea. The sound stayed comfortably between herself and the walls of her pink bedroom. But her parents could always tell whenever it was ‘a Rainy Night’ by the expression she had coming through the door after a school day. She was easy to read-which Garraty just seemed to be naive to.

There was a sharp patterned 3-knock routine on her door that warmed her heart. She bounced to it and welcomed her boyfriend into the bedroom, making sure to leave the door open 3-inches though...they never really did all that much. Some girls in her class had already been around the corner and down the block but herself...

Jan picked at the end of her sleeve and rolled her lips into a thin line. “What’s buggin’ you? And don’t try to deny it, you’re doing that funny dance.” She giggled and pointed to her guy’s fast-feet. Ray glanced down and froze in place atop her soft-tan carpet.

He recalled that one day last Summer when he & Jan had gone down to the beach with some of her gal-pals. Her long blonde had hair hit her waist and danced just above the fine line of her yellow bikini (not polka-dotted, mind you). Ray wasn’t even sure if the girl had gotten it wet once. ‘Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer...’ an old tune played in back of his head. The giggle bunch had buried him in the sand.

‘Just fill your basket full of sandwiches and weenies...’ He had a friend once. They took off their clothes-Ray swallowed and mustered up a grin for Jan.

They had buried him in the sand. The juvenile fun had covered up the twitch of interest he’d felt below his waist when-...the man with the sodas went past-

They had buried him in the sand.

Ray shook his head. “Just had a weird day, s’all.” He shrugged and hoped for Jan to take the bait.

She pursed her lips, considering it. “Did I miss your call or did you just show up here instead?”

Ray smiled and Jan grinned back. From there, they sunk into conversations of their first days and swapped fun anecdotes about their teachers or classmates. Though Ray didn’t dare open his mouth about anything to do with Stebbins.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bitter and disgusting taste of Tuesday morning was sitting uncomfortably at the back of Ray's throat as he trotted down his steps. He took a long sip of the coffee his mother had made for him to wash the unwanted taste down. He jetted down the pavement and began his long walk to school. Sore feet be damned, he’d rather walk than be driven by his mother everyday.

Jan, bless her sweet heart, had received a car for her big sixteenth birthday. He’d been quite jealous for a bit after that before he realized just how much he liked being a passenger. He could freely doze off with the company of the fuzzy scenery behind the glass without doing any of the work. It was nice. And it wasn’t as if he desperately needed one in the small-town where everything he needed was basically walking distance. 

The end of summer was bleeding into a cool autumn. Colors were beginning to darken and the skies would soon be gray. But for now, they were trapped in the between stages. The air was attempting to stick onto the last bit of heat there was, leaving it syrupy with little pockets of chill breaking through. Uncomfortable was the best way to describe it really. 

Ray trudged his way through the syrup and let it smother his memory of his Pancake breakfast with Stebbins.

But as luck would have it, when Ray was pretty close to school, Stebbins came around from a block over. He was slightly hunched over which seemed to just be his natural position. It made Ray wonder what kind of mother the dude might have, didn’t she ever advise him to ‘Sit up straight or you’ll never get a date...’? Which was the funny little rhyme his own mother had sing-songed to him when he was young.

The blonde drifted closer and It was then that Ray got a good look at what the guy was wearing. An old tie-dyed shirt from some summer camp he must’ve gone too (He didn’t look the type but Ray stared momentarily at the disastrous handwriting those kids had signed their names with on the fabric) . And a purple jacket sat nicely on his shoulders. “I can see you dressed up.”

The lesser of two evils, he decided, was just to keep conversation with the guy. Stebbins cocked his head to the side and looked down at his own outfit. “It’s not mine.” He shrugged.

The response wasn’t totally abnormal...but something seemed vaguely threatening and obscure about it. Ray took another swig of cold coffee and nodded slowly. “Cool.”

With that, he turned on his heels and started on the last bit of the way to their school. Stebbins looked ahead for a few seconds before he started trailing after him. “You got anymore of those peanut M&M’s in your locker, Raymond?” He asked behind some odd suckling sounds.

Ray turned to discover that under the bright morning sun and just a few feet from the school, Stebbins was sucking on his sleeve like a child. What else did his mom neglect to teach him? “Sure I do, but if you’re gonna be hanging around me can you please do so without that...” He pointed to the sleeve between the guy’s teeth. “I don’t wanna listen to the sound of your spit.” Ray shrugged and climbed up the steps of the school building.

Stebbins slid the purple fabric out of his mouth and happily followed behind him. “By the way, don’t you have a car? Why are you walking?” Ray quirked a brow and spoke even though he wasn’t too sure Stebbins was even still behind him. 

“I do. But the car I’ve been using was my mom’s. Mine’s been in the shop...not for much longer though. You’ll know it when you see it.” Stebbin’s giggled which was oddly chilled. Ray rolled his eyes but continued on until he could clear the path to his locker and shove a handful of his snack into the blonde’s open palms. 

Stebbin’s water-falled them into his wide mouth and tilted his chin back down for a departing grin. “See ya in gym, Ray.”

Again, with the wind, Stebbins was off into the crowd of classmates. Ray stared after him for a few seconds before throwing back his own handful and getting ready for first period.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Another uneventful day was mostly over for Ray apart from this gym class that had him a bit worried. Just as he assumed, Stebbins approached the doors in a record time to match his own.

“Don’t worry, I can catch you up on what you missed yesterday-”

“I doubt it was anything important.” Ray rolled his eyes again, knowing the first week of the class was spent doing mostly nothing but sitting on the bleachers and waiting for uniforms and locks. 

Stebbins tilted his chin up and hiked his bag further up his back as they strolled across the shiny floor. He caught Ray’s endearingly absent expression as he made his way over with him. However his admiration of such was interrupted when he slowly passed the last lonesome looking bench of the bleachers and got a good kick around his hip. He whipped his head around without making a sound of shock and saw the outstretched shoe of some classmate who was asleep.

He came closer to take a look only to have the guy jump up from where his ass was planted in-between the first and second benches, Stebbins wasn’t at all scared but he did step back to make room and knocked right into poor, currently absent-minded & oblivious Ray. They both tumbled straight for the hard gym floor underneath them.

That was until the man shot up and used his shockingly amazing and convenient reflex skills to grab for one of their arms.

And it worked. Mostly…

Stebbins popped right back up so Ray took the fall for the both of them. Stebbins grinded his teeth together in horror as Ray hit the ground. And the man tightened his grip around his forearm on reflex.

“Hey Kid!…You ok?” Peter McVries’s voice was familiar for Stebbins and it carried over his shoulder to Ray specifically. Stebbins shook from his grip and pulled Ray up who was pretty bouncy for someone who just fell right onto the floor in-front of his new class.

“I’m good, thanks.” Ray shrugged and grinned at him to let him know he didn’t need to worry, not that that would stop him. He then sharply took in all that was the guy from the parking lot once again...McVries as Stebbins called him over breakfast food yesterday.

McVries looked Ray up and down and shifted his weight from one foot to another. “What’s a fine looking guy like you doin’ hanging around him?” The man asked as he tilted his chin towards Stebbins. Though it seemed to be in playful gesture. Ray found himself a little flustered as he tried to collect himself. 

“-I have a name. It’s Stebbins, if your small-mind can recall? And I’m right here. Thanks.” The blonde narrowed his eyes but didn’t look too irritated though there was something there that Ray couldn’t dissect. 

“That’s a hell of a way to say thanks for saving you from tasting the dirty gym floor.” McVries halfheartedly scowled as he fiddled his hands into the pockets of his jeans. 

“Yeah, my hero. It was just my friend here who got the taste of the bottoms of our sneakers, huh? You also caused the accident if you remember correctly.” He said smartly, tilting his head and smirking. 

McVries spared a quick look over to the guy but drifted his eye-line right back to Ray, without any hesitation. It was oddly personal for a first meeting. But Ray kinda figured that the man might just be a personal kinda guy. Lopsided and slanty described his stature and his grin. Grin-not smile. No, what McVries gave away could only be described as a grin. “What’s your name?” 

Ray felt a tad bit heated under his gaze and briefly remembered a time at which he was 14 years old and demanding for more freedom in the home. It was subconscious second nature for him to be a brat at that tender age. His mother was practically mortified or maybe appalled at his behavior. ‘Remember your name before you act like that. You’re putting that behavior onto this family-’

“Garraty.” He spoke without thinking much. “-Ray. Ray Garraty.” He quickly added while feeling a little sick to his stomach. 

“Peter McVries.” He stuck out his hand, Ray looked down at the shadow it casted before taking it into his shaking grip. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Ray was fiddling with the new gym lock on the Thursday of the much colder week. Fingers pressed into the metal and swirled the dial around. 

Since last Tuesday, Stebbins had kept some distance which Ray thought he would enjoy. But alas, the dude seemed to trigger some deep interest inside him that he didn’t know existed. He quirked a brow and spun that funky dial again. It was nothing weird-just....Stebbins was quite a show. And school was sort of boring without him traipsing around behind his back and sneaking around. 

“Hey stranger.” 

Ray turned and found one Art Baker. He’d found a friend in the guy the other day when he let him borrow his gym shoes. They happened to be the same size and there was no way he’d make a habit of sitting out...that was too dangerous a power for Ray to obtain again. Sophomore year...well, he’d almost never participated. 

Ol’ Art, one of two people to share this area of the locker room with Ray, had no problem with that at all. He simply offered up his own grass-stained shoes with a slightly freckled smile. 

“-Stand on you tip-toes, punch me in the dick and maybe I’ll feel something then!” The wicked laughter of his other locker hall neighbor came from near the entrance of the room. Peter McVries came from around the corner and stopped just short of Ray’s open locker. He’d be an idiot to think so but it seemed as if he hadn’t been expecting his prompt classmate to be there yet. 

“What are you yellin’ about?” Art shoved his left foot into his shoe and rested his palms on his knees. 

McVries shook his head and curled his hand over Ray’s locker door, turning a smile in his direction. “Barko-Bitch over there-” He paused to tip his chin over his left shoulder. His voice was loud enough to carry the lame-ass insult over a few rows of lockers. Ray chuckled. “Thinks he can put up a fight and I was just tellin’ him that he could barely reach my-” 

Pete paused, eyes shifting a little in Ray’s direction again, before he gestured to his crotch...area. Art burst into loud laughter...boy’s laughter as Jan called it. It was always loud and more rambunctious than the situation earned. But Ray liked it....a lot. Boy’s laughter...was just more pleasing to the ear, they always meant it 100%. Jan just giggled. 

“The dude’s...” Pete bumped Ray’s arm and waved his hand just below his waist with a large smile. “Short.” 

“I gathered.” He bumped back and slid his shirt from his locker. 

Art and Pete’s talk dissolved into the background of Ray’s focus as he realized that today he’d have to fully change in front of his only two locker-hall buddies which he’d been purposely avoiding by coming early. 

He peeked behind him and swallowed. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t changed in front of dudes before, several years of previous gym classes proved such. But there were always more people and loud distracting conversations. Something about it just being the three of them....wigged him out. 

So he quickly shoved his body into the gym uniform and slammed his locker-shut, turning to lean back on it. He intended to wait for his two sorta friends out of sheer politeness. What he didn’t count on (Because he could really be an idiot sometimes) was the fact that they’d be changing too. 

Art was mostly done, all that Ray caught was the last slip of the skin on his waist while the red shorts climbed high enough to rest. But Pete...

Well, the man was standing there in his underwear maintaining a hardy round of boys laughter with Art....pants around his ankles. He slowly lifted one leg to pull his foot free from the cuff but paused to enhance his reply to Art with a wild hand-gesture. ‘They took off their clothes...’

Ray swallowed and ignored the familiar yet odd feeling of a twitch-‘They had buried him in the sand...’

He heaved his eyes away and broke for the gym-door at the other end of the hall. He didn’t much care if the abrupt exit was noticed because all that was getting to class. Nothing else. 

As it turned out, Gym provided him with an excellent distraction. The whole class was trudging it’s way outside almost as soon as attendance was over. 

“The weather today is like...did you ever see the movie where that babysitter girl is getting stalked by that dude....?” Stebbins started his first conversation with Ray in some days as the class marched the lawn towards the track. The bitter chill had warmed slightly but that was about all he could say about it. 

“Can you be more specific? There’s more movies like that than you may think.” Ray laughed, shaking his head. 

“I know that. I’m thinking.” Stebbins rolled his eyes. “He’s got the white mask and he falls out the window at the end?” He poked Ray’s arm. 

Ray paused when the class took the field and crossed his arms, taking a long deep breath of that crisp Fall air. “’Halloween’. Are you trying to say it looks like the movie ‘Halloween’ outside? Cause you could just say it’s starting to really feel like fall out-or you know, something else normal like that?” 

Stebbins rolled his eyes. “I wanted to be specific-” 

“And relate it to a movie where a dude stalks and tries to murder someone?” Ray chuckled and moved to look at their teacher. Stebbins smiled but fell silent after that, sticking to Ray’s left. 

The Mile Run. That’s what today was all about. 

Ray frowned and looked around him at some of their classmates groaning. Though a few of them started stretching as if they took it seriously. He scoffed and fell into a strut with his little buddy (apparently). “I can’t imagine you running-”

“Do you imagine me often, Ray?” Stebbins smirked and was only rewarded with a hard stomp onto his foot. “Ow! Shit.” He hopped after him but before he could catch up again, one Peter McVries approached Ray with the brightest of smiles and slid into a stride matching his. 

Stebbins scowled lightly but took a new position. 

When the coach blew the whistle, Ray did not break out into a gentle and comfortable beginning speed like he might’ve when he used to do track. He shivered thinking about that damn sport. This time he just put one foot in front of the other and mindlessly strolled while hoping the chilly four laps would just be a nice way to end the school day. 

A few other people were walking along just the same including Stebbins who was just a ways behind them, slacked forward with hands deep into his pockets per usual. Ray was so busy looking behind himself at the blonde that he tripped on his own feet and stumbled just the slightest. 

McVries seemed to be the only one to notice because he threw a special smile. “You better be careful, Ray. If you fall, I won’t pick you up. I’m really committed to winning...” He slapped his palm against his chest to convey genuine meaning to his statement and then gestured to the large open space between the two of them and the majority of the class that was actually running.

Ray grinned. “I’m truly threatened, McVries.” He chuckled. 

Pete felt his stomach tighten at the sound and shook his head. “You’d better be, boy.” He nudged Ray’s arm gently and started on a little faster. “People ain’t always gonna be so nice to you about their agendas as I am.” The dark haired boy was now walking backwards and turning Ray’s mind upside down.

“What are you on about?” Ray narrowed his eyes and followed him with confusion and something close to puppy-like curiousness. 

“People live and learn but you're still learning, Ray. Your peers just might try and crush you without so much as a warning. Now me? I have the decency to say this...-” Pete stopped in place and Ray nearly bumped into his chest. 

Astoundingly close to his sort-of friend and nervous as ever, Ray swallowed. 

“I’m gonna leave you in my dust, Garraty. This mile is all mine.” Pete broke into a mad little chuckle and turned off, jogging up to Art Baker and starting conversation with him. Ray stayed still in his spot, eyebrow raised and ready to just keep walking on alone in confusion. However, instead he found himself taking off with built up track speed to pass the two of his friends. 

The rambunctious Boy’s laughter couldn’t help but slip past his lips when he heard the thundering slap’s of Pete’s sneakers approach his back. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“I'm tired, Ray.” Pete’s voice was husky and very close to Ray’s ear which he strangely didn’t mind. They’d both slowed all the way back to a peaceful walking pace very shortly after their racing burst. Remaining at each other’s side. 

“It’s your own damn fault for starting a race-” The man paused when he glanced behind him and saw that his friend had stopped in the middle of the track. Some of their classmates passing him. “What are you doing-?”

“I’m gonna take a little rest. Sit down a little, you go on without me.” Pete was being mighty dramatic and laughing as he did so. His hand waved out in front of his body. “I think you can win this thing, Ray. Win it for the both of us?” McVries stepped a bit closer before squatting and hitting his ass to the ground. 

Ray strolled on over with a smile. “We’re both a lap behind everyone but Stebbins...-” He broke to observe his odd friend “Who’s pace is remarkably and unnervingly slow.” 

Ray had that simple and carefree grin on his face which he sported so casually. It was no wonder all of Pete’s attention was right back onto the young man. He kicked his shoe and dipped his chin down like he was being shy before running his tongue across his lips. ‘It almost played off as if it were a move?’ Pete tried to think against but Ray’s moistened lips parted just slightly and the fall afternoon breeze ricocheted throughout his body which just had to make him tilt his chin to the sky. The smooth skin of his neck now exposed to the suggestive heat- 

“Get up, you lazy asshole.” Was all Ray said before turning away and starting his long walk again. He pulled back sharply and quickly from that slow moment with a refreshing amount of pleasure.

It nearly gave Pete whiplash as he was sent reeling. He let go of some of his heaviest breaths and stared up at the crisp sky for a few minutes, willing himself to look away from Ray’s retreating back as he fell deeply in love with him. No exaggeration. He never exaggerated!- A dopey smile took over his face when he heaved himself up and went after him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{November} 

The sun bounced flattering light over the glittering peach roof of the car which was seating Jan as she hung her legs over the front, brushing them against the grill. Stubbornly but patiently she waited. She threw open her book and clicked her tongue. The glossy pages easily flipped and flung from her fingers. She smacked a page down, gliding a finger down the spine and landing it happily on top of the black and white fuzzy photo of herself & Ray which was her favorite bookmark. She smiled to herself and snapped the book closed, laying it over her lap. 

She only picked his head up when he heard the slapping of shoes on the sidewalk in front of the school and sure enough, Ray was bopping down the pavement. He was twirling his house keys on his finger and clutching his books in the other. “Saturday night I'd like to make my girl but right now I can't make ends meet...-” Ray mumbled quietly in his sing song voice. He caught sight of Jan’s annoyed eyes and flashed her a bright grin, slowing the twirling keys to a stop.

“You’re ten minutes late.” She reminded him with a twitch of her nose. Ray gritted his teeth and back-handed his own pocket while he attempted to shove his hand inside. 

“How mad are they-?” He tipped his chin towards the home in-which her kind parents were probably stewing over early-dinner.

“My parents?” She repeated in a mocking tone and hopped off her vehicle. “Mildly inconvenienced at best.” She finished with a gentle smile and crossed her arms. “But this is the sixth time Ray. What’s going on?” 

Ray sniffled in the cold and shrugged his shoulders, re-positioning his heavy green plaid coat. It was freezing these days. Jan puffed her cheeks with a passive aggressive and shook her head. “Soup might be cold but you can fill up on the sides-” She gestured for him to start on inside. 

“I was with Art Baker, he’s a classmate. We just lost track of time-”

Jan put on that hurtful smile again and Ray was 100% certain she thought it was passing for genuine joy. “This isn’t a confessional, Ray. This is my front lawn. We took our homecoming pictures here, remember? If you’re still interested in the idea that you have to confess this event to me like I’m accusing you of something, maybe you can unload it to our sad-sack Santa blow-mold. He’s in charge of that ol’ list, ain’t he?” She clicked her tongue and slapped the head of the decoration gently before strolling past him and entering her home. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Can you stop screaming so I can give you the directions?” Pete mumbled miserably in the passengers seat of his Mother’s car. He was trying desperately to sink into the material of the seat and ignore the horrid expression on her face. It helped to rub his palm harder into his eyes, it earned him the fuzzy kind of vision that usually only got when he was drunk. The different kind of streetlights bled together and he could almost pretend he was in any other situation.

“I’m not screaming. Trust me, you’d know the difference if I was-”

His mother paused just time to catch Pete mouthing those words along with her in a mocking gesture.

She did one of those half-chuckles of disappointment and tightened his hands on the steering wheel. Pete wanted nothing more than to escape the scene entirely. It wasn’t fun to admit but he was highly embarrassed and angry with himself just the same as he was pissed at him. He shuffled in his chair and lifted his legs to tuck them under his body. His knees hit the door with a loud thump which sounded eerily close to an angry reaction and maybe it was. For a few painful seconds, it made the air even more awkward.

Pete did not often fight with either of his parents. Their little family actually got on quite well. Sure, they had their moments here and there but for most of his young life, he’d known nothing but love from them. He took no pleasure in participating in such a trivial fight but he was a little pissed.

“Don’t make this into a fit, Peter.”

“I’m seventeen, Mom.” He spit. “I’m not having a fucking fit.” He dug into the bag at his feet and pulled it onto his lap. Logically, he could get out of the car so much faster if he could gather all of his crap ahead of the parking lot cruise.

“You sure about that? Because to me, it looks as if my seventeen year old is pouting in my car-”

Pete leaned over and turned the radio back to F.M. to avoid conversation even further and block out whatever she was gonna say next.

The car rolled to a complete stop at the next red-light. Pete’s head thumped softly against the headrest, nails dragging painfully hard into his lip.

“Pete, sweetheart. I work, is all. This is a huge waste of my time-” She glanced at her son. Her face softened slightly and she sighed. 

“Eyes on the road, mom. If we get into a car accident, that’d be on your head.” Pete pursed his lips and frowned as he curled his body forward. “What would your co-workers think, huh?” He put on a scandalized voice and felt a little sick to his stomach when she gripped the wheel harder. 

It was a shit thing to say but it had also been a shit thing to hear. Part of him knew very well that his mother was only trying to protect him from shit but it still burned when her first concern to the situation of him staying out late with a boy seemed to be the thoughts of her co-workers. 

And ok so, the boy might’ve been her boss's son and they may have engaged in a...make-out session in the back of his car in a store parking-lot. And he also may have left his head-lights on for the entire 3-hours they were in there and his car proceeded to die. 

But it still hurt a little to come out that way and to have a punishment overshadow any kind of reaction. 

“I want you out of my car right now.” She mumbled mostly to herself but he couldn’t help but notice they’d slowly turned onto a quiet side-street. There weren’t many passing vehicles and an open sidewalk wasn’t far from his view.

“Fine.” he reached out and grabbed the passenger door handle and cracked it back, sending the thing flying outwards. He attempted to unbuckle but there wasn’t much more he could do to escape after his mother swung her arm over his body and reached for the door handle.

The car swerved but luckily the road was completely empty. The tires skidded, wind blew heavily and for a moment Pete thought he might actually fall out. But the car door banged closed next to him and made him jump as he recovered from sensory overload.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” His mother screamed as soon as he centered the car and pulled into the video store parking lot.

Peter McVries really hated himself in that moment and felt his eyes water. “I didn’t want things to happen this way...” He frowned and watched his dear mom soften again as she pulled into an empty spot. 

She shifted the car into park and rubbed her palm into her forehead. “Me neither, Peter.” She spared him a glance and gently reached out to pat his knee. “We can discuss this further at home. I love you and have a good day at work.” 

McVries nodded and slowly crept out of the vehicle, hoping he wasn’t edging it too close to late. He pushed the heavy doors and slid the red visor onto his head. The neon lights buzzed as he steadied his hands and regained his way of walking with purpose. He held firmly onto that argument though. There was no way that was leaving his mind anytime soon.

Hank Olson was standing at the counter and carefully stacking a useless tower of DVD cases, tongue edging out the corner of his grin. 

“Oooh, look at you.” Pete couldn’t help but chuckle and playfully clap as he passed the scene even though Hank was clearly trying to avoid distraction. “Good job.” He whistled when the man leveled the tower higher with a copy of ‘E.T.’

Hank peeked around the DVD’s and rolled his eyes. “You have a box of discs to clean-”

Pete frowned but observed the empty box at the foot of Hank’s counter and took a longer look at DVD mountain, giggling. “Is that them?” He slung his thumb out to point. 

Hank nodded. “Yup.” And with agile swiftness, he pushed his palm forward and knocked all the DVD’s down. Some of them landed in the box as they were supposed to but others thumped against the old green carpet. 

“Oh, you give me hell, Olson.” McVries shook his head, casually kicked some discs off his feet and bent down to gather the loose ones. He tossed them in the box and hiked it up to rest on his hip while he walked into the back room.

Most of his work day these days consisted of wiping down discs with a little spray bottle of cleaner one by one. Then he stocked the shelves and repeated the process. He truly didn’t mind the busy-work because it was low-effort and he got the back-room to himself for a good chunk of the day. Olson or Abraham usually operated the main desk and dealt with customers more often. So Pete couldn’t complain except to express that his own wasted potential was starting to unnerve him. 

He was dragging the blue cloth down a scratchy copy of ‘The Big Chill’ when Hank swung around the doorway with a wide grin. “Stebbins and that funny dude you always talk about are here. Thought you might wanna say a quick hello.” He smirked. Pete flung the DVD back into his box and happily shoved past his co-worker. He stopped right behind the main desk and...

Sure enough, in the stuffy old building stood his funky blonde friend and one Ray Garraty. They were browsing the selection of ‘classics’ and bickering softly as they walked. 

McVries raised his arms in mock defeat and smirked with genuine joy. “I don’t have the strength for this guy today. Nope. Olson, you take care of him.” he playfully shook his head and turned away to call-out to Hank, who sauntered over to him with an annoyed face. It seemed that he didn’t care for Pete’s little ‘play’. 

Ray looked up and caught Pete’s eye when he shouted and only returned the boyish smirk. He handed two films over to Stebbins and slowly glided past McVries, bumping his side, and trying not to chuckle. 

As Hank rung up the guys choice of two movies, Pete and Ray seemed to communicate over his shoulders. He could tell by the way Ray lazily shot up the finger with a glowing smile. Hank shared an annoyed look with Stebbins. He also seemed to hate witnessing this interaction. 

“Dirty Dancing, Ray?” Pete giggled and waved one of the DVD’s around before Hank could hand it over to his customer. 

Garraty rolled his eyes. “Movie night with my girlfriend, Pete.” He ripped the movie out of his friends hand and smirked. 

“Oh I’m not knocking it, Ray-darling. You’re mistaken. I love Dirty Dancing.” McVries shoved Hank a little as he laid his forearms on the counter to lean in closer. 

His friend was about to open his mouth again when Stebbins stole the moment from the clueless pair by smacking the DVD out of Ray’s palm and catching it in the air. “I’m leaving with both movies if you’re planning on staying to finish this conversation, Ray.” He smirked and walked out of the building. 

Ray sighed, crossing his arms. “See ya at school tomorrow, Pete.” He glanced back at the dark haired man and gifted him one of those magical grins. 

When he walked out of his little store, McVries slid his arms further down the counter and sighed, a sound of joyful music. “Isn’t he somethin’?” 

Hank rolled his eyes and smacked the back of Pete’s head as he fled the room. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Ray was curled up on the bleachers of the school, picking apart an orange and trying to keep the torn up peel pieces curled up in his spare hand. It was too windy to put them down anywhere.

He wouldn’t usually spend a Saturday on school grounds but the special exception today was the dread of hanging with Jan. He bit into the orange and juice slid down in tiny drops down the side of his chin. Catching it with his tongue proved useless so he wiped the back of his hand across his mouth.

“Hey, Ray.”

Ray looked up, the orange juice dripped down his chin and his cheeks turned slightly rosy. Without thinking too much, he sucked the liquid off his finger as he stood and walked over to the edge of the row he’d been sitting on. McVries was standing in the grass, arms resting on the slanted railing of the bleachers and his admiring face was completely missed on Ray. He glanced up and accidentally made a tiny popping sound as he slid his pointer finger from his mouth.

“That’s real cute.” McVries rolled his eyes like he was disgusted and Ray leaned on the railing from the other side, a beautiful smile on his face. “Y’know, I figured we'd be seeing a lot more of each other.” Pete waved his hand out and let it fall.

Ray rolled his lips together and laughed. “How do you figure that...?” 

“Well, now that you know I have a job...I was thinking you might drop Stebbins as best friend and promote me. You know, because you get to mooch off of me.” He spoke so very casually and with a large grin on his face. 

Ray rolled his eyes. “I’m not so shallow.” 

Pete slowly shifted his body and flung himself over the railing so that he could be next to the guy. “Maybe not BUT I would spoil ya, been told I’m a true nurturer.” He smirked and Ray just had to giggle.

“By who?” He wiped his mouth again, those orange peels still curled up in his fist. 

“Lots of people.” Pete looked fake-offended but nonetheless, swiped the handful of garbage from Ray. He slowly dragged his fingers down the man’s curled palm and felt that wonderful sense of body-heat as the orange peels now pooled in his fist. He tossed them in the can over the other side of the railing and leaned back with an eager smile. 

Somehow, Ray found the strength to pull his hand away with lightening speed. His wrist leaving the odd place of Pete’s upturned and sweaty hand which it had found strange comfort in. Abrupt and startling, it did not go unnoticed by his friend. “You think Stebbins is my best friend?” 

The question sounded a lot like an accusation that Pete hadn’t expected. So he just let the confusion roll off his shoulders in a shrug. “Is he not?”

Ray looked off in thought and retraced his steps since the first day of the school year. Imagery did suggest such sweet invested time with the blonde weirdo who preferred to add trail mix to his popcorn on movie nights and once dawned a pearl necklace with his pajamas. Ray rolled his eyes at that silly memory. But Stebbins had also tried to take him on a date once...

Ray bit his lip and pulled at his thinning jacket. “We’re not that close or anything.” ‘They had buried him in-...’ He scratched at his forearm which felt as if it were clotting up with wads of wet sand, breaking through skin. 

Pete shrugged again and adjusted the bag on his shoulder. He looked ready to part ways. 

“If anything, I’m the closest to Jan.” Ray suddenly burst and watched as Pete jumped a little. “She’s my girlfriend.” He nodded his head and attempted to play it cool but judging by Pete’s face...it came off odd. 

McVries paused momentarily and scratched under his chin. “Oh? I didn’t know you had a girl, Garraty my boy.” He chuckled though it seemed rather clouded with a husk in his tone. He jumped down some of the bleacher steps and looked off towards the field. “She pretty?” 

Ray opened his mouth and shut it a few times. “Yeah-yes, she is.” He chuckled and followed after his friend.

“Lucky you. You should tell me about her sometime...” Pete nodded and slowly started backing away once his feet hit the ground. “Anyway, I should go-”

Ray was suddenly very aware of the fact that he didn’t want Pete to leave. “I think she might be breaking up with me though.”

McVries stumbled a little and quirked a brow. “Oh-?”

“Because I’m pretty shitty at relationships, according to her.” Ray added. Pete’s face paled a little bit as he tried to gather something to say but before he could open his mouth- “I don’t make time for her and I don’t satisfy her in bed...-” He trailed off, red in the face because how in the hell did this just start coming out of his mouth? 

Pete choked on his spit

“I was late to a dinner with her parents the other night.” Ray figured he might as well go on. “But I make great small-talk so she gave me a pass, right? But then she wanted to fool around, y’know?-In her room. But see-...she’s got this little window in there with a light-up Santa face.” Ray shook his head with something like disgust. “I told her I couldn’t do anything with his face staring at us.”

“SO, she moved it and tried to get back into it. But I could tell she was mad so I lost the spirit and-...” Ray read the utter shock on Pete’s face and finally felt he could laugh at the situation which had been causing him intense stress lately. 

It finally made it funny. He didn’t know if that was good or bad. But he started to giggle. “I slept on her bedroom floor and the Santa head was curled up to my left, unplugged and all...sad....” He started to lean over the railing as he collapsed with laughter. Pete looked almost disturbed at his out-burst, not that Ray could see now.

“Oh, it’s so....it’s...-oh it really isn’t funny, sorry.” Ray stood up straight again and tried to collect himself. He held in the rest of his laughter and wiped the bit of tears in his eyes. There was a moment where neither of them spoke and Ray felt that was probably due to the painfully odd outburst he’d just had in-front of someone he didn’t know all that well.

“Could’ve had me fooled there for a second.” McVries said as he finally climbed back up the steps and planted his feat next to Luke’s on the bleachers. A cool breeze blew past them while he got a good honest look at the man. ‘Yeah, it really wasn’t funny, not a bit to Ray’. Pete wasn’t all that sure what to do so he sighed slowly and shoved a hand in his pocket while the other gently directed Ray to sit down. “So, we’re not laughing about it anymore...how are we feeling now?”

Ray curled up on the bench and shrugged. “I like Christmas a lot less now.” 

“How much do you like this Jan girl?” Pete ignored the dumb joke and found a sincere question that Ray didn’t really want to answer. 

“A lot.” It was true. He did love Jan. 

Pete’s gentle smile twitched a little but he quickly pushed it away. “Then...talk to her and get back on her nice list, huh?” He pushed their arms together and Ray giggled a sweet gentle sound which made his heart skip lightly. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{December}

The jolly fat man had around a good three weeks before he had to slide down every family’s chimney. But his decapitated head was still laying all slanted against the wall and on Jan’s bedroom carpet. 

The long cord trailed after it miserably and Ray poked at the prongs with disinterest and a lack of entertainment. Jan was on her bed, faced with piles of homework she wanted to get done as quickly as possible. But it seemed to Ray that she was subconsciously stalling by inviting him over for the day. 

Slowly, he rose from her floor and opened her window. As soon as he got the thing all the way open, he laid his forearms across the ledge and sighed. Sucking in his breath and attempting to relax. The record Jan had picked out was fuzzing as Ray leaned his head back and let the frozen air pass his lips in rings. It was the Beatles...he thought maybe it was a greatest hits ditty. Ray always pegged his girl as a ‘Please Please Me.’ kinda chick. ‘Yeah, if Jan were to be any Beatles album, that’d be her alright’. 

The warm sunlight was bouncing off the crevices of Jan’s lounge pillows and Ray leaned farther out so it could dust across his cheeks. He was mouthing his inner thoughts slowly and drawing out the words carefully. The moment was unspoiled and sweet, the wind was blowing in few small bursts that curled his baby hairs to his temple. 

His curled knee brushed against Santa so he wrapped his hand around the edges of small light-bulbs and waved it in the air. “You want me to hang this back up?”

Jan picked up her chin where wispy baby-hairs sat plastered to skin from what Ray guessed to be stress-sweat. Her hum was light and breathy but provided no stable answer until she managed to actually shove away her work pile over and crawl closer to the side of her bed. “Nah. Just leave him there.” 

Something about that answer unsettled Ray. But he left the decoration on the floor all the same and slowly took a place next to her on the fluffy pink blanket. Jan laid across the length on her belly and blinked up at him with a sense of nostalgia and meek appreciation. It carried her into the next position; sitting up with her folded legs sorta opening a little to support Ray as she shifted closer. 

“Are you bored with this relationship?” She asked, eyebrow raised but no clear aggression in the tone. But Ray still felt like it was some sort of trap so he shook his head. 

“No.”

Jan licked her lips and leaned all her body weight on her flattened palm behind her with a sigh. “I wanna have a Christmas party, over break-” She made gentle eye contact and smiled. “Small. And with our friends.”

Ray stopped himself from rolling his eyes at the use of the words ‘our friends’. 

“You could invite some people from school, if you’d like. You must have made some new friends since I left.” She giggled which threw him for a loop because that would almost make the party worth it. 

“Sounds fun.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

{December, three days before Winter Break} 

Ray leaned against the stage in the gym and watched Stebbins and McVries chase each other around with a basketball which neither of them seemed to realize was for shooting into the basket. Instead, they were dribbling it illegally and chucking it at their heads. 

It was probably the most active Ray had even witnessed Stebbins being. But he seemed strangely satisfied whenever he could shove McVries a little lately. 

Pete, was happily skipping and galloping away on his fit looking legs that Ray couldn’t help but observe when they were only covered by loose gym shorts. 

The red shorts were paired with a thick looking green sweater instead of the usual school shirt. There was an old & peeling iron-on patch of Frank Sinatra, which Ray recognized by the name above his head. The piece of clothing looked as if it were just lifted from a Grandmother’s closest. 

“What do you guys say? There’s gonna be food and-”

Pete stumbled but caught himself and the basketball that Stebbins pitched his way but slid across the gym floor on his knees anyway. “You know, I’d do anything for you, Ray-Baby, but I got a date on that Friday.” 

Pete hauled himself up and dribbled to himself as Stebbins paused and looked his friend over. 

“I’ll go-” Stebbins started only to get cut off by Ray approaching Pete and stealing the ball. 

“Date? What unlucky girl said yes to you?” He chuckled but his throat felt mighty tight for some odd reason. 

Pete smiled and stole the ball back, bouncing it around with no real goal other than to just keep it away from his friend. He was silent for a couple minutes which left Stebbins time to burn dangerous holes into the back of his head with annoyed eyes. “Eric is borrowing his pop’s car and we’re gonna cruise or something.”

Ray froze in his place. “A guy?” 

This question didn’t seem to bother Pete in the slightest, he just kept on playing and even started shooting towards the basket. “He’s the son of my mom’s boss. Which didn’t go over to well with her but we talked. She’s cool for now.” 

The basketball flew right past Ray’s frozen stare and into Stebbins open hands. The blonde’s expression faded from anger to genuine appreciation. “You’re into that?” He asked, a smile easing onto his face. 

Pete nodded. “Yeah. I don’t eat all my vegetables at dinner, my bedroom’s a mess, some people say I look like my dad and....” Pete paused but not because of hesitation, no. He just wanted to stretch this out as he glanced at Ray. “I’m into that. I’m bi.” 

With that, the teacher blew his whistle, Pete winked and shuffled off towards the locker room doors. Stebbins watched him with a mixture of amusement and interest. 

"Isn't that nice?" He chuckled and tossed the basketball Ray's way only for him to jump away instead of catching. "Am I still invited?" 

Ray watched the ball dribble itself towards the corner of the gym and nodded. "Yeah. See ya at Jan's."

His walk didn't suggest anger but the emotion was so overwhelming that Stebbins had to roll his eyes. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{December, party night} 

Jan had a friend back in the sixth grade, a sweet and kind Irish girl who taught her how to make brownies and how to sneak snacks into the movie theater. Tonight she copied the brownie recipe the best she could from her old memory stacks but with an added touch of crushed candy canes. 

They were laid out atop a decorative Holiday plate that Ray’s mother gifted her last Christmas. She hoped at least one guest might pick and choose from the collection of treats which sat under a shining galaxy of colorful string-lights, in the kitchen where Fiona taught brownie mix and later betrayal. 

Her eyes lingered on the snacks as Ray mindlessly rubbed the tips of his fingers up and down her back and made small-talk with their friends. She could hear how uninterested he really was through the tone of his voice but he just kept on. Ray would probably do anything she asked him to. 

Good Ol’ Ray and Jan. Surely, there was a couple like them in every suburban high school. Living life without a chaperone and getting french fries from the place along the busy street; cause the town’s small enough that there’s no need to be specific. They make all the old folks go ‘look at the handsome couple’ as they share a Vanilla Cone in a car she got as a gift. 

Except it was the turn of the season and the Vanilla Cone was now 1 Hot Chocolate because Ray couldn’t splurge on two with his minimum payment. The radio poured Christmas tunes out but it took all Jan’s strength to get that plain song by The Knack out of her head. 

Ray glanced up at her and smiled, everything around him blurring because it truly had that power over her still. But visions of Santa’s decapitated head in her bedroom danced in her mind to a soundtrack of ‘Good girls don't, Good girls don't, but I do...'

“Can you get me some iced tea?” She blurted to her boyfriend who seemed rather perky about a chance to escape this conversation. 

“Sure thing.” Ray hopped up, patting her arm and took off for the kitchen. 

:

:

:

Stebbins was making toast in Jan’s kitchen when Ray entered and fetched himself an empty glass. He turned with his blonde boy brightness which gave him a false sense of sweetness every-time Ray glanced at him. 

“So, you didn’t make her up after all.” He chuckled, taking a bite from pure burnt to Hell bread. 

Ray chuckled and filled the glass up with tea, getting ready to leave. “Come introduce yourself to my little group, Stebbins.” He was highly aware that this sudden eagerness was mostly just to break away some of the tension he had with Jan’s friends. But he also did want to see if they’d kick the same kick outta this dude that he did. Stebbins had surely grown on him since they’d first met. 

So he dragged his friend over to Jan’s group and handed over the cool drink which she could drink comfortably since the heat was on. 

“Jan, this is Stebbins. Remember I told you about him?” Ray stuck his thumb out behind him to point at the blonde, who was sharing a secret smile with the floor before glancing up and shaking the girl’s hand. 

Their group politely chatted Stebbins up and Ray was very much enjoying it until the front door let in some new guests, including a very familiar man who’d refused his invitation-

“-Charlie Rich. ‘The Most Beautiful Girl’, that was your Grandmothers favorite song, wasn’t it-?” Stebbins had just asked a laughing Jan as Ray excused himself and fled for the door. He had no way of knowing that the look of annoyed jealousy was mirrored in Stebbins just the same as it was in Jan. 

:

:

:

Peter McVries was leaning against the wall in the little room just past the front door, where all the shoes were lined up. There was another beautiful row of string-lights above his head that glittered all sorts of colors over his skin like freckles. 

Ray strolled over, trying not to let the eagerness slip so obviously onto his expression. “Look what the cat dragged in-” Pete smiled adoringly at that comment and looked off. “What happened to...Eric?” 

Pete swallowed and rubbed a curled finger under his chin. “He got...-” He looked back and sighed. “Eh, no use in stretching the truth, huh? Eric was a real drab and I was missin’ my friends. Wondered how the party was.” He shrugged like it was that simple but Ray found his heart bounced at the sentence. “Eric was fine for some filler company but you’re my favorite boy in town, Ray-baby.” 

Any of the words Ray was planning on saying were currently sticking in his throat. “Why-...um...why do you say things like that to me?” 

Pete froze, as if he hadn’t been expecting Ray to actually acknowledge that weird thing between them. The moment of panic fled quickly and was replaced with his easy-going smile. “Oh, Ray...” He started, eyes looking large and fragile. “Here you are again.” Was how he finished and with the instant relief of a man just done running 10 miles. Those words just fell from his lips and laid over him like sweet honey. They were nonsense to Ray...he wasn’t sure what that could possibly mean but they meant something. That much could be gathered by the way Pete looked so pained yet sincerely loving. It made Ray heat up a little...

‘They'd buried him in the sand...’ popped back into Ray’s mind. He coughed. “Want to meet Jan?”

Pete shrugged his jacket off and nodded. “Love to.” He dropped the subject so easily, with only a flicker of pain that Ray might have usually missed but due to his hyper-nerves he picked up. It broke something in him. Something that Ray desperately tried to hold together until Santa’s shitty decapitated head scared him off of sex from his girlfriend for the final time. 

“You have a crush on me...” 

Pete paused before turning sharply on his heels and making easy eye contact. “Since we’re blurting this out now...-” Pete chuckled. “More than that Ray, I’m in love with you.” 

Ray would have fainted if he weren’t so damn locked up from nerves. But Pete, looked nothing short of melancholy. His smile was still there but was probably causing a great deal of pain to keep. He shrugged, tongue poking out of the corner of his soft smile. “Yeah. That’s out there now.” there was a giggle and a cough to cover up the hiccup. 

The air grew thick but it didn’t seem to bother him. “Anyway, I don’t expect you to say it back to me, obviously. Hell, it’s idiotic for me to say considering we’ve only known each for a short time.” He broke for strained laughter. “But I feel my shit, Ray. I know that it’s for a fact. You... ” He shrugged again and quickly moved to nudge Ray on the shoulder. Their eyes met and Pete’s were slightly watery and serious. 

“I didn’t plan on saying this to you...ever. You know? You’ve got your gal and Jan’s...she’s lucky and a sweet girl from what you’ve said. My feelings for you have no place in your life. But since you said it first...” Pete chuckled.

Ray’s face probably read as horrified...which might not be far from the truth. He thought of Jimmy Owens and the man on the beach that day which felt so long ago. Santa’s dumb face lit up in his head, as if it had been finally plugged back in and hung up against his mind’s window. 

Quietly. Ray took Pete’s wrist and calmly dragged him to the back coat room area of Jan’s home. He closed the door behind them and sighed against the wood. It was breathy and hot, dripping with sweet relief that he wasn’t aware had been burning in his lower stomach for ages. 

“I need to try something...” Ray stepped forward and Pete looked heart-flatteringly shy for probably the first time ever. “I just have to know and...you-...I trust you so...” he paused, looking up with his beautiful eyes. 

“Will you be there for me? Please?” 

Oh how that broke Peter McVries into a million pieces. This boy...well, he was going to be the death of him. This sweet, sweet boy. “Oh honey.” 

Ray blushed a sweet shade of red and tried to look less hysterical. 

“Oh, I don’t give half-a-damn if you decide to forget me tomorrow, Ray-baby. You deserve a kiss from someone who fucking loves you more than anything in this world. I’m gonna give that to you, if you’d like?” Pete licked his lips and tried not crumble when Ray nodded and approached him. “I want you to feel how much you’re loved. I don’t think your girl Jan is doin’ that.” 

Ray didn’t answer but pulled Pete closer and waited. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{January, returning from Winter Break}

After the party, Ray didn’t see much of Stebbins, Jan or Pete. They all seemed to keep a careful distance from him but Ray found the space comforting. 

It would break in gym class of course, where Pete & Stebbins would be waiting for him. Ray’s chest thumped at the thought of facing the first boy he’d ever fully ‘made-out’ with in his entire life and he was sure that Pete wouldn’t make this easy on him. 

But Pete acted as normal as ever. If anything, Stebbins was out of sorts. The blonde kept away from the pair and when the time came to go back to change, he darted off before they could question him. 

It wasn’t until this time that Pete reached out and gestured for Ray to sit with him on the bleachers. It hit Ray with a mixture of fear and eagerness. A sharp burn ran down from his stomach to his thighs as he sat down. 

“So...”

“So.” Ray repeated, not wanting to speak first. Pete rolled his eyes fondly when he realized this and immediately took over. 

“Listen Ray. About the party-”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Pete. I-...it was a mistake. I have Jan and I’m not...not into that.” 

The air between them got thick and Pete nodded. “Ray...I didn’t expect you to love or even like me back, ok?” He paused to watch the man nod before continuing. “I don’t want to pry into your personal life, not my style, but you dragged me into this when you made-out with me, Ray-baby.” 

Ray opened his mouth but was not quick enough. 

“It’s a journey of self-punishment, way you’re going with Jan. It’s only hurting yourself and her in the long run. It ain’t me...I accept that, Ray...” Pete’s voice strained at that comment. “But the experimenting won’t stop with me either. You’re guilty for hurting the girl you think you love but you’re not really ashamed either. I’m not the exception, I’m not reason that you went astray....you’re not satisfied because...-” 

“I’m not that way.” Ray interrupted, finding his voice which was now harsh and hurt. 

“It’s not an insult, Ray...I just don’t wanna see ya hurt cause I damn well love you in my stupid little way, ok?” Pete looked away and maybe let out a few loose tears which horrified Ray to think about. “And I-...”

“Just because I told you shit about my relationship on the bleachers that day, does not mean you know anything about me & Jan, asshole.” Ray stood and tried to run off to the locker room but found his feet to be asleep and weak. 

“Ok. Listen, I don’t want to be that asshole, Ray. Trust me. I can’t tell you what you are. You have to figure that out for yourself. I know that. But-...” 

Ray spun around again and glared down at Pete with pure rage. “Really? If you knew that, I don’t think you’d be here telling me that I’m gay just because you got off on our kiss at the party, ok?” Ray screamed and surprised the both of them. 

But Pete, being Pete, just nodded and shrugged. 

“What is with this shit, man? First Stebbins assumed this shit from me and tried to put the moves on me and now you. NO- wait...” Ray broke off into that hysterical bitter laughter from weeks ago; it scared Pete a little. “It really started with damn Jimmy Owens. And then the...fucking hard-on I got from looking at some dude on the beach-HA! Thank God I was buried in fucking SAND! Or else my friends would have seen it in my trunks. Isn’t that pathetic, Pete? They buried me in the sand and saved me from letting my girlfriend know that a dude with sodas turned me on in a way that even she couldn’t; bikini and all!” Ray fell back onto the bleachers, clutching his stomach. 

“Roll out Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days Of Summer, Pete!” He wiped his eyes and finally began to slow on that nervous laughter. “Fuck, I’m confused.” 

Pete felt his stomach twist and his heart drop. He slowly scooted closer and laid his hand over the boy’s shoulder gently. “Ray-”

“You said you wouldn’t care if I wanted to forget about the kissing, at the party. What if that’s what I wanted?” Ray glanced up through glassy eyes. 

“I meant it. I wouldn’t try to stop ya, Ray. I just don’t think our friendship would go on...you know, it’d be very painful for me.” Pete giggled but his friend did not.

Ray and Pete remained utterly silent for a while and thanked anyone that would listen for the miracle of no interruption. They had the gym all to themselves for some odd reason. Pete tried to treasure this short bit of time he had to be close to Ray because soon it would all be over. 

“Fuck. I’m gay.” Ray mumbled miserably into Pete’s shoulder and his friend tried not to burst into happy tears. Instead, McVries gently turned his head and sighed. 

“You sure?”

“I gotta tell, Jan. I-...I don’t want to do that Pete.” He continued to sound like he was on the edge of tears which broke Pete’s heart a little. He too knew this struggle all too well. His own coming out had been a journey of confusion and fright but a happy ending of acceptance indeed. “She won’t be mad, you think?” He chuckled because he was joking but somehow Ray found the dumb hope in the question to make it far too real. 

All Pete wanted to do was comfort the man, make him coffee and tell him everything would be alright. But he couldn’t do that and he shouldn’t. Not only did he already have a problem with coddling Ray but it was not wise to make promises to him that he wasn’t sure would go exactly the way Ray wanted. Pete had faith that this would not be the end of the world for him. But there was no doubt that with a mess like the one they’d made it would put a hard strain within their circle of relationships.

“I’ll be seeing her after school and I don’t want to tell her but I have to...” Ray looked utterly exhausted at the thought. “I’m not a very strong person on my own, Pete.” He looked up and seemed to suggest an idea that was in Pete’s opinion, awful. 

“Bullshit, Ray-baby. You’re strong as Hell.” Pete smiled and gently shook him. “But you do understand that I can't come with you, don’t you?” He tilted his chin down a little and his brow raised as if to counter it. 

“I just think you’ll be able to-”

“This is something you have to do on your own.” He spoke softly in hopes Ray would hear him out. The thing Pete quickly learned about Ray in these short months was that when he felt he’d done something wrong, he desperately craved for someone to be on his side. So he wouldn’t be alone in his thinking. The man was an expert in punishing himself whether he was aware of it or not. And there was a comfort he took in having someone to lean on during the strenuous events following a mistake. 

“You think my being there will deflect some of the attention off of you and that I will be able help you better if I was with you.” Pete spoke the reasons for Ray, who opened his mouth to explain just why that was truthful and the right thing to do.

“I’ve intruded on your relationship enough as it is, Ray. I’m sorry but you’ll have to do this one alone.” He grabbed the boy’s hands and gently rubbed the pad of his thumbs over his soft skin. “This ain’t my fight.” 

Ray sighed but seemed to accept this as a fact. “But...You love me?” 

McVries took his hands away and licked his lips. “I’m so in love with you, Ray. But...You’re gonna need some time to figure things out.” He paused. “And I don’t even know that you have actual feelings for me, sadly. Could’ve just been sexual frustration that made you make-out with me and I won’t say that I hated it.” Pete chuckled but gently flicked some hair from Ray’s face. 

Ray frowned, looking very tired and sad. “I always thought Jan and I had...like movie love... or that we were like Jack & Diane, you know? From that song?” 

“And you don’t feel that way anymore?”

“In a way.” He shrugged, suddenly looking very pained. It was a look that Pete knew had been on his face several times when he was knee-deep in the questioning phase. 

“Yeah, it’s movie love. I’ll admit it.” He waved his hand out and Pete opened his mouth but never got a word out. “Just not the kind I thought. I like Jan because I think I’m supposed to.” He half-whispered that to himself and Pete nearly felt like he was intruding.

“I think...” He spoke with an earnestly kind voice. “I really think you should talk to Jan as soon as possible.”

Ray glanced up at him again. His eyes were filled with anger and confusion. “Do I have to?” He rubbed his hand against his forehead.

“If you really feel that way, then yeah.” McVries sighed and slid a little closer again. He softly shoved his shoulder and took more of the space next to Ray who was too busy to really care.

“It was Jimmy.” Ray mumbled, miserably.

“What?”

“Jimmy Owens. My old friend when I was little..we took our clothes off....” Ray shrugged before thinking to explain. “I think maybe...that was my first real clue.” 

Pete nodded with wide eyes and tried not to think too hard about that weird burst of information. 

Raymond Garraty was under his arm now and Peter McVries felt a flicker of hope that one day...very soon...they could be something special together. He was so far gone on this kid that it was unbelievable and maybe he kissed Ray so the guy would feel some real love...but Pete felt a little spark back from Ray. 

Maybe it wasn’t love quite yet but....soon?


End file.
